You were made on purpose for a purpose. Jeremiah 29:11

Disconnected, Stuck in the Middle, and Praying for Healing

Healing in Hiding

Have you ever had a time when you felt completely disconnected from everything that was once your life—knowing there may not be a way of getting back there and now you’re just…stuck? Stuck between where you once were and not knowing what the future holds. That’s where I am right now. I’m in the middle.

A little more than a year ago, my health began to spiral—again. As I’m sure you can guess, the frustration came quickly. But honestly, the frustration would turn out to be the least of it. This relapse took me by surprise and escalated quickly. It stole things I loved and enjoyed. It made me a prisoner in my own home. It left me confused, discouraged, and at times…desperate.

Unlike my first experience in 2017, this one didn’t leave me in a puddle on the floor…but just barely. What it did do was make it incredibly hard to show up—for my business (including the events I loved), my family and even for myself. Maybe you have been here too. Maybe you’ve had a season that made you stop, that forced you to let go of things that gave joy. If so, please hear this: you are not alone.

I knew healing would take time and would require me to slow down on some things, but I never expected I would need to stop altogether. The truth is, healing doesn’t always look like forward motion. Sometimes it looks like stillness. Sometimes all you can manage is to simply breathe. More times than I can count, I’ve felt unproductive and confused about what to do next. And while many symptoms have improved, I still find myself in this in-between place. It is in this middle place that I still often feel disconnected from everything that was familiar. And honestly? God’s voice just feels quiet, too.

A Realization That Caused a Shift

In the middle of all of this I’ve been searching for God’s voice and asking, “Why?” And while I was diligently searching for answers in scripture and daily devotionals, I came to the realization that I might just be asking the wrong question. Instead of asking “Why?”—Why did this happen? Why now? Why me? I was reminded of a promise. “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord. (Jeremiah 29:11). That’s when I realized I should be asking, “What?”

What is God trying to teach me here? What is it about this season—this middle place—that is intended to shape me into the person I need to be to fulfill the purpose He has for me? Now, if you’re waiting for me to share the big answer…I don’t have it yet. I’m still searching. I’m still healing. I’m still learning to listen to my body in ways I never have before.

But what I do know is so many of our foods have changed in recent years and things like additives, chemicals, and GMOs are affecting my health more than I realized. I’ve been diving into what good, nutritional food looks like in today’s world. Oh boy! It’s a steep learning curve.

A New Purpose

Here is what I trust: Even in the quiet, even when I feel unsure—God is still working behind the scenes. Healing hasn’t come overnight. It’s slow. But God is present in the waiting. Even when my doubts creep in, He remains.

And in the middle of this long process, I was reminded of something else—something thoughtful. I was reminded of how isolating it feels to go through something that takes away so much. I was reminded how lonely it feels when you feel unseen or unheard. And that is why I’m writing again. I want this blog to be place where you can remember your value and worth, even if your world feels upside-down. I want you to know that it’s okay not to have it all figured out. I want this to be a place that can help you move forward—one baby step at a time.

If you are in the middle of your own healing journey…if circumstances beyond your control have placed your life on pause…Please hear this: You are still useful! You are not forgotten! Your story matters! Even if you don’t see the whole picture yet.

This is me, moving forward with little baby steps—not from the top of the mountain, but right here in the middle.

And maybe…just maybe…that’s enough for today.

If this has spoken to your heart, I’d love to hear from you. Let’s keep walking together.